My name is Chloe, and I am somewhere between this many (holds up one stubby finger) and this many (holds up two). I’m sure of this because I distinctly remember the yummy puppy dog birthday cake that Mommy and Daddy got for me not too long ago. I digress. This is not why I am hijacking Dad’s computer thingy today. Nope. I’ve got a complaint to file with household management, and I want a call to action for all other toddlers worldwide!
My side of this story begins around a month or so ago. I was just minding my own business working on a drawing – which I have to say was near Utopian – when I was rudely interrupted by my Mom’s screaming from the kitchen. This, of course, led to an unintended long streak of purple on my otherwise flawless mural on the living room wall. This was quickly followed up by Daddy bounding into my art studio and huffing something mean. I still can’t figure out what he said to this day, but it wasn’t very polite. I felt that my use of purple in the monochromatic motif that I had just completed would have made Rembrandt cry. Too bad Mommy and Daddy didn’t feel the same way. What happened next will live forever in toddler infamy…
Daddy went into the bathroom and came back with Mommy’s blow dryer gun. Why you’d want to shoot yourself with wind, I don’t know, but it does tickle! Anyway, then Dad started shooting hot wind at my masterpiece for what felt like an eternity. Imagine my horror at the very sight of such a defilement. Next, Mommy asked Dad to go get a damp washcloth out of the bathroom closet. It wasn’t bath time yet. What gives? Mommy then proceeded to wipe the melted wax magic that was my crayola mural right off of the living room wall! The nerve!
This is where I ask — nay, implore — all toddlers around the world to stand up for our right to artistic expression. Is this what our society has come to? Can we not freely express ourselves in an artistic manner within our own homes? We must right this injustice, and take back the doodles that are rightfully ours! Or, maybe I could just doddle on the flat white thingies that Mommy calls paper. This still doesn’t change the fact that I’m angry, or that I will likely post Daddy’s secret recipe for homemade cinnamon rolls on here — just in spite of it all! Keep looking on my, err… Daddy’s, blog thing for more of my exploits.